I guess we should start with the typical disclaimer, which is that I have no direct knowledge of the relationship and have not been retained in any capacity dealing with the divorce or filing.
My comments are based on my work experience, training and research as a professional within the field of Family Law and I support of the decision of Katie Holmes, to file for sole custody of Suri, in her divorce from Tom Cruise which is not my usual position.
My usual position is that I believe, promote and agree with shared parenting. Allowing both parents to be involved in their child’s life as the standard policy, as being in the best interest of the child, absent, any special circumstances.
The best predictor of future behavior, is past behavior, especially in Family Law. So it really was not a far reach for Katie Holmes, and her legal team to come to the conclusion that if Holmes agreed to shared parenting that eventually if not immediately the result would be that she would have minimum to no contact with her daughter, Suri.
This was the result for Nicole Kidman when she and Tom Cruise divorced and their two adopted children become the center to a very public, very nasty, high profile divorce played out in the press daily for several months until a settlement was reached some years back.
Both sides made allegations of misconduct in the war for “custody” of Conner and Isabella. After the determination was made by either or both Cruise and Kidman or the judge, I do not know the particulars, to share custody, Kidman eventually lost all contact with the children.
According to articles I reviewed, Nicole Kidman had minimum to no contact with either of the children in the years following her divorce from Cruise and Kidman has not been photographed with either Conner or Isabella, who are now adults, separately or together since 2007 and little before that.
Now before any one stands up and screams another man hater, let me say that if the position was reversed and Katie Holmes had previously been married and her former spouse had little to no contact with the children, I would take the same position in support of Tom Cruise.
However, because by all appearances, Cruise has already demonstrated previously that he would in all likelihood not allow or support a relationship between Suri and her mother to occur. And that contact would not be easy, or frequent. Nor would he support an emotional bonding between the Suri and her mother, therefore custody should be awarded to Katie Holmes. And if the situation becomes reversed, than that should be taken into consideration for changing custody from Holmes to Cruise.
There is no better way to ensure that BOTH parents support a relationship with the other parent after divorce than a change in custody if the relationship is not allowed, provided and supported.
If Holmes is entrusted with the mandate and impedes or hampers that relationship, immediately, not after several years that scenario should be reversed and Cruise should be awarded custody. Something that I have seen work every time it is given as an ultimatum.
I want to see parents falling all over themselves to show what they are willing to do to support that relationship with the other parent and care for the children, over what they can do take away/destroy that relationship. Which is the current method used and encouraged now, although unintentionally. It is however, the result.
There are other predictors that resulted in my conclusion to support the decision by Katie Holmes to file for sole custody, which I have not addressed due to time and space.
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